They weren’t lying when they said adopting is an emotional roller coaster! Geesh! We went live last week and immediately saw a case. It was so hard not to get emotionally involved in a case that wasn’t even at all the right one for us, Lol! We were able to calm ourselves and wait for ones that were more of what we could handle (like for a single child instead of twins – lol!). We were getting ready to say, “Yes! Send our profile book on to the mama!” (also know as “presenting”) and then we asked about the money. Most of the cases we were looking at (sometimes multiple ones come in in a single day) requires full payment upon match and that number was $40,000 at the lowest and $50,000 at the highest! That would mean within days we would need to be able to write them a check for this huge amount of money – totally not what we were expecting. We had thought (and had been told) that only a few to several thousand dollars would be due upon match and then we’d have the length of the pregnancy, however much longer that would be, to rally the troops and put some fire under seats to get the needed funds. Asking for all the money up front makes it near impossible! We added up EVERYTHING we could to see how far we could get and we came up with $16,500 – still very short of $40,000 or $50,000. We were now faced with HAVING to say no to presenting to an expectant mother only because of the amount due immediately. Talk about devastated. Now we had to distance ourselves even further from these dear mommas and had to reply with a, “No, we don’t have the funds.” I HATE that money would be the thing that would keep us from reaching out to a momma looking for a forever home for her child when we have everything else all set and ready to go. Our original Hope was that we’d see more cases with a small amount due upon match and then we’d be able to go back to the grants we’ve applied for and give them specifics on the due date of the momma and exact money due but it seems like the agencies and grant givers don’t communicate their processes to each other. Most grant companies don’t want to give money out unless you’re matched and know the amount you need and where you are on that path yet most agencies want all money due upon match. See where we are with this? It’s a catch 22, no-win situation!
Another thing that’s frustrating is how quickly some people are to suggest some of the worst possible financing ideas. Like the home equity line of credit – borrowing against your house and gambling your living quarters is not a good idea. Low-interest credit cards – just yikes!!! We’ve thought about trying for a personal loan but we really don’t want to put ourselves in a stressful position where we add a large payment – and interest – to our monthly payment. Plus, if we do any of these options, we lose the opportunity to be contenders for a $10,000 interest free loan from the ABBA Fund (they don’t want their clients to be seeking out other debt ways of paying for an adoption and rightfully so). We hope to hear from most of the grants we applied for in the month of May. Hopefully, some will see us as worth the investment and will award us money towards our adoptionand enough companies will see it that way. We continue to fundraise and continue to try to think of new ways to bring in even just a few extra bucks here and there.
So what do we do for here? Well, we could choose to give up because we’re not rich people and it’ll take us forever to raise this much money on our own OR, we can keep on this path that God has led us to and trust that he’s got this. Of course we’re not quitters and although this is discouraging, we are trusting that God will provide when the right momma is shown to us and chooses us, He’ll already have the money spoken for. This does mean it’s not going to be as soon as we would have liked and this does delay our ability to present to expectant mommas right now but you know what? Those children are not the ones God intended for our family. He has that child picked for us already, we just have to be patient, diligent in our fundraising and money saving, and be ready and open for what he has prepared for us.